my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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