i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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