if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize