Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
