1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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