If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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