Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
