She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
