Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
