I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
