There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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