This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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