Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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