In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
