YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
