man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Boobs are out for the taking
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
