No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
