she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize