Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
