Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
