My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
