do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
