Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
