I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize