They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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