oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
my liver is dry heaving
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
