Have you finally orgasmed yet?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if only i could text you this smell
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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