My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
