Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
