you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize