Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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