I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Randomize
