Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
