I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
