I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
