so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
