haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
