sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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