Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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