My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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