Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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