we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
