I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
