Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize