i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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