Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
