He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
