he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
