Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I need moral support for this bender
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
