did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I party with great urgency now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
