Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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