I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
