considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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