tonight lets celebrate not being married
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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