so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
