i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
