sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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