there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
