If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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