Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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