its not stalking. its research.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so let's talk penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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