one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I looked at my own cervix.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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