Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
