You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
