he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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